Today as I entered my daughter’s room to borrow her blow-dryer (my hair just seems to dry faster with her blow-dryer), I had a mini-panic attack. Okay, so maybe I am being a bit overdramatic here. The mess and the clutter did cause me to think about a few of my options though:
A. Open a window and toss everything out but the bed. Let’s see how she likes that!
B. Follow Option A with a bonfire in the backyard with all things that were tossed. I bet she’ll start cleaning her room now!
C. Do nothing but be thankful for the person who created this mess (then shut the door quickly so you don’t backtrack and select Option A or B).
I chose Option C. My flesh wanted to choose another option, but the Spirit nudged me to turn the only option that makes sense in His Kingdom (please do not think I am excusing her lack of cleanliness). Be thankful. Yes, despite my knee-jerk reaction to lose my cool and proceed to pitch an adult temper tantrum, Holy Spirit was reminding me to be thankful.
And I think this moment came at the right time. As a matter of fact, I KNOW it came at the right time. Just yesterday, I was struggling with my emotions. For as long as Brian and I have been married (7 years in April…woo hoo), we have been trying to conceive another child. A child that is part him and part me. And no matter how many handstands I have done, how many doctor visits I have been to, or how much tracking I have done, our prayers haven’t come to fruition just yet. (Infertility sucks, just saying…and secondary infertility is a real thing.) So, I was on the low part of the roller coaster yesterday in regards to our infertility journey. And it was heavy. I haven’t had a “heavy day” in a while, but all I could think of doing yesterday was crawling in a hole, crying, not socializing with anyone by my dogs and Jesus, and consuming all the chocolate my stomach could handle.
I reached out to Brian via text and shared with him how I was feeling. I didn’t want to feel this way, but I couldn’t seem to shake it. And I wanted my husband. I wanted him to tell me everything would be okay. I wanted him to come home from his office and walk through the door with the biggest blizzard from Dairy Queen filled with all the Oreos it could contain (that didn’t happen). Instead, he text me, “I am sorry. I am praying.” And when that man says he’s praying, I believe the devil’s knees give way. I could feel the heaviness leaving me. I could feel the light breaking through the clouds.
And then today, that room. Oh, Lord have mercy, that room. God used Kirstin’s room as another way to remind me that darkness doesn’t win. Darkness doesn’t get to be the champion. Darkness has been defeated. I encountered Jesus in that room. In the middle of the mountain of clothes, the miscellaneous items strewn all over the floor, and who knows what else lurking in the corners, I had a holy encounter with Jesus. And because of that, I chose to be thankful for the person who created that mess.
Friend, I don’t know what kind of darkness surrounds you and is trying desperately to choke the life out of you. I don’t know what schemes and tactics the enemy has been throwing at you lately. But I do know that darkness doesn’t win. Darkness isn’t the champion. God is forever faithful. God is victorious. Jesus is the champion. And He reigns. Oh, sweet sister, He reigns. And He is fighting for you. Don’t give up. Don’t lose heart. Look for the holy encounters today in your everyday moments of life, even in the mess of a child’s room.
How have you encountered Jesus lately?